Meh meh meh

The weekend is here... For most of us that means getting to go out and do things with our spouses/loved ones. It could and should be so for me as well. But I don't feel like it. And, before you ask, No, I'm not depressed :) Just feeling kind of meh. I don't want to see anyone or go and do anything. I just want to keep myself locked up in my home and read my books. I've read another 5 in the past few days... I have a problem. :-/ I only have 3 of my new books left. And sadly, they aren't new books to me. I've read them before. But it's been a long while since I have read them.

My week has been a very productive and I fully enjoyed it. I had a girls night with some of my friends. I've cleaned and gone shopping. Gone to Ipac to get a few answers. But mostly, I read. I turned my tv on for the first time in a week last night. But only to watch my favorite tv show Bones. I love that show. And have found the books/author that the series is based on. :) What joy! I have been contemplating about the decorations I am still wanting to buy and put up in my house. It's a constant change that I enjoy. I'm going to help a friend, Mrs. D, decorate her entire house to make it more homely :) I'm excited. I feel I should have gone to school for interior design instead of history. Oh well, maybe in a few years I can.

On another note, I spent an hour on the phone with Heather yesterday discussing our future and making new changes to it! And I have to say, I'm super excited about these new changes in our plans! So much so that I can't wait for a year to pass already! Hah. And, we've made plans for me to come see her in April for 2 weeks! I'm stoked that that's coming up quickly now too! And, I'll get to see where we plan to spend the rest of our lives. :) As I've said, we will not be separated no matter what our husbands think! Ha. Good thing they love us so much and are such best friends!

I've talked to Jon 3 times this week alone! That makes me super happy. But I know that the phone calls so often wont last. I'm sure I'll be getting a last phone call very soon. :-/ But hey, I can do it! The last phone call I got from him I was at a spouses round table offered to us by our FRO and Chaplain on base. It was very interesting to be there, even though there wasn't a huge turnout. But I did feel a little out of place. Is it me or do I just not take this whole deployment thing as serious as most other wives do? I don't cry over what he's doing or that he's gone. Instead I'm proud. More proud of him than he will ever know. I understand the harshness that is deployment. I understand that I wont get to talk to him whenever I want. That's what makes him being home so much more meaningful to us. I felt so out of place because I don't feel like I'm having a rough go at it. Yes, Heather leaving was a major blow and I broke down about having both of them gone. But, I'm stronger than that. I'll see them both again. I trust in God to see Jon through hell over there and bring him home safe and unharmed. And I know that Heather and I wouldn't be able to live without seeing each other at least once this next year, and if we can swing it, twice! But we'll see how my resolve goes over the next few months and if I break down again for Jon. :) I doubt it. I'm stronger than that and yes, it would help make me feel better, but it doesn't really do him any good.

I am strong. I am proud. I love a man who loves the Marine Corps and I will bear that burden happily. Because God saw it fit that my soul mate should be encased in a man who puts his love for his country above all else. And for that reason, I will be forever grateful and happy. Because I know, that as he loves his country, he loves me more.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! :)